Originally posted 6/15/2001
It is hard to see how a finally realized dream can turn sour and bitter, especially after you dream that dream for almost 7 years. It is not beautiful, just like finding out trapped in a bad marriage not long after you marry the man of your dream.
That is exactly how I feel about New York City now.
I tried to get in Columbia in 1995 but didn’t make it (ironically, I got into a higher ranked school in Baltimore). I tired to find a job in New York since 1997, even I was only half way through my degree program. After I graduated from my Doctoral Degree, I traveled to New York so many times on the uncomfortable Greyhound bus just for job interviews. I 'discovered' Park Slope, a very gentrified neighborhood in Brooklyn in 1999 and fell in love with it immediately. Eventually, I got a job offer at SUNY Downstate Medical Center at the end of 1999. Okay, it is in Brooklyn (and a not very appealing part of Brooklyn), not Manhattan. But it is still New York City. And I can live in Park Slope, which is not too far from the Medical Center, I thought.
Then after ordeals of the first 9 months of 2000, wading through the messes created by US Consulates in Canada and Taiwan, I finally was able to move to New York to start my new job and new life. I thought my dream finally realized.
However, after the overblown real estate hype in 2000, most of Brooklyn is no long affordable. Park Slope now is more expensive than anywhere in Washington/Baltimore metro area. Even the less heard Prospect Height, Carroll Garden, and Fort Greene are with average one-bed room starting at $1,300 or more. Manhattan is even more out of reach. So I had to end up in Queen’s and commute more than one hour (each way) to work every day.
At the beginning, I still could enjoy the long commute. On my way home, I always got off somewhere in Manhattan, went to have dinner at some small but nice bistro, or went to see some obscure art-house movies. I moved out of a friend’s place and moved into the attic of a Chinese-run guest house. With rent at only $500 per month (20 to 30% of what I could have found in Park Slope for the same size), I thought I could save a lot of money for many of my hobbies (such as: travels, of course). The attic is not very comfortable and the guest house is not very clean. It takes almost 15 minutes to get to the nearest subway station (then one and half hours' train ride to work). Since I decided to buy an apartment of my own in New York, I wouldn’t stay there very long. I thought.
Seven months later, I still live there. The daily long commute started to wear me out. I’m no longer interested in eating out at different restaurants in Manhattan. The rush hour crowdness on the No. 4 or 5 Express is so intolerable. While my research progress hasn’t gone very well, my social life really, really sucks. I did almost everything alone (unless my friends visit me from Central New Jersey), like a lost soul wandering in the Manhattan’s concrete jungle.
Eight months after I moved to New York, I still haven’t made any new friends outside of my own ethnic group. My co-workers are more distant than those in Baltimore and Boston. And this time around, I no longer have any classmates.
After I got sick from a very bad flu in March, I was in severe depression again. On the long subway ride to work every morning, I kept wondering it is worthwhile for me to have worked so hard, to just move to New York. Somehow, I missed past life in Taipei, Washington DC, Boston, and even Baltimore. I can think about one hundred reasons to love about New York. Then, I can find 101 reasons to hate it. There are a few of them:
Maybe my luck just turned around after that San Francisco trip. I was bumped out of a direct flight from New York to Savannah. However, I was awarded a $350 coupon. Two weeks later, I arranged a trip to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I will drive with my good friend around the American Southwest, for the first time.
"Is there anything fun there in New Mexico? I thought it is mostly desert?" Nelson, one of my friends from Taiwan asked.
"Yes, it is mostly desert and most places are very desolate and barren." I said.
"Are there very few people living there?"
"I guess so."
"Then, why going there? A place with all desert and no people?"
I didn’t answer. But I thought, after living in New York for eight months, what I need is a place with as few people as possible.
It is hard to see how a finally realized dream can turn sour and bitter, especially after you dream that dream for almost 7 years. It is not beautiful, just like finding out trapped in a bad marriage not long after you marry the man of your dream.
That is exactly how I feel about New York City now.
I tried to get in Columbia in 1995 but didn’t make it (ironically, I got into a higher ranked school in Baltimore). I tired to find a job in New York since 1997, even I was only half way through my degree program. After I graduated from my Doctoral Degree, I traveled to New York so many times on the uncomfortable Greyhound bus just for job interviews. I 'discovered' Park Slope, a very gentrified neighborhood in Brooklyn in 1999 and fell in love with it immediately. Eventually, I got a job offer at SUNY Downstate Medical Center at the end of 1999. Okay, it is in Brooklyn (and a not very appealing part of Brooklyn), not Manhattan. But it is still New York City. And I can live in Park Slope, which is not too far from the Medical Center, I thought.
Then after ordeals of the first 9 months of 2000, wading through the messes created by US Consulates in Canada and Taiwan, I finally was able to move to New York to start my new job and new life. I thought my dream finally realized.
However, after the overblown real estate hype in 2000, most of Brooklyn is no long affordable. Park Slope now is more expensive than anywhere in Washington/Baltimore metro area. Even the less heard Prospect Height, Carroll Garden, and Fort Greene are with average one-bed room starting at $1,300 or more. Manhattan is even more out of reach. So I had to end up in Queen’s and commute more than one hour (each way) to work every day.
At the beginning, I still could enjoy the long commute. On my way home, I always got off somewhere in Manhattan, went to have dinner at some small but nice bistro, or went to see some obscure art-house movies. I moved out of a friend’s place and moved into the attic of a Chinese-run guest house. With rent at only $500 per month (20 to 30% of what I could have found in Park Slope for the same size), I thought I could save a lot of money for many of my hobbies (such as: travels, of course). The attic is not very comfortable and the guest house is not very clean. It takes almost 15 minutes to get to the nearest subway station (then one and half hours' train ride to work). Since I decided to buy an apartment of my own in New York, I wouldn’t stay there very long. I thought.
Seven months later, I still live there. The daily long commute started to wear me out. I’m no longer interested in eating out at different restaurants in Manhattan. The rush hour crowdness on the No. 4 or 5 Express is so intolerable. While my research progress hasn’t gone very well, my social life really, really sucks. I did almost everything alone (unless my friends visit me from Central New Jersey), like a lost soul wandering in the Manhattan’s concrete jungle.
Eight months after I moved to New York, I still haven’t made any new friends outside of my own ethnic group. My co-workers are more distant than those in Baltimore and Boston. And this time around, I no longer have any classmates.
After I got sick from a very bad flu in March, I was in severe depression again. On the long subway ride to work every morning, I kept wondering it is worthwhile for me to have worked so hard, to just move to New York. Somehow, I missed past life in Taipei, Washington DC, Boston, and even Baltimore. I can think about one hundred reasons to love about New York. Then, I can find 101 reasons to hate it. There are a few of them:
- Too may rich people around, I mean "very" rich people, so...
- Things become very expensive. A Cosmopolitan (Martini-type cocktail, in case you don’t know) cost at least $7 at most restaurants and bars. They only cost $5 in Chicago
- Subway system really sucks, constant breaking down and re-routing. But you just cannot live without it.
- Rats, rats, rats...
- Waiters with bad attitude everywhere. Hey, you might be a actor/singer/writer whose talents haven’t been discovered and hate your current job. But at least, this is the only job you get paid for...
- Snobbish bartenders. Yes, I know what Long Island Ice Tea is not really tea!
- How come it is so difficult to meet people in this city?
Maybe my luck just turned around after that San Francisco trip. I was bumped out of a direct flight from New York to Savannah. However, I was awarded a $350 coupon. Two weeks later, I arranged a trip to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I will drive with my good friend around the American Southwest, for the first time.
"Is there anything fun there in New Mexico? I thought it is mostly desert?" Nelson, one of my friends from Taiwan asked.
"Yes, it is mostly desert and most places are very desolate and barren." I said.
"Are there very few people living there?"
"I guess so."
"Then, why going there? A place with all desert and no people?"
I didn’t answer. But I thought, after living in New York for eight months, what I need is a place with as few people as possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment